Dear Mom,

What should I do?

Your heart is failing.

They want to intubate... again. Because you are laboring to breathe. 

I know you hate having to be fed by a tube because the nurses have had to restrain you after several attempts and successes to pull out your tubes...

Dear Mom,

Of course, I wasn't surprised when Jackson requested that we head into the costume shop on Haight Street to see what they had to see. 

It's so close to Halloween... I wish I could call you and tell you how J wanted to buy a sword but settled on a fake mustache instead. He looked like a little Keystone Cop... or Tom Selleck. The photo I took is incredibly funny/adorable. 

My immediate instinct was to send the photo to you via cell phone... but I cannot do that either.

I love you mom and I wish you could be home... talking... walking... answering your phone and smiling while I tell you all about your grandson. Who misses you too.

Love,

Nicole