Up

How can a person be anxious and calm at the same time?

Again, I am up before dawn. Not really worrying but definitely thinking with purpose... sort of, because I am actually also tired as well.

There is so much to contemplate; baby, mom, death, onesies, J, career, painting (how I actually love painting), time alone... time... the "right thing to do." Since I do not have much time to myself during the day I guess my body and mind have conspired to make some time for active consideration.

It's not so bad, really. But I'd like to be less tired while I'm thinking and more productive... probably the root of all my anxiety when it comes down to it.

Sigh... and yawn.